eros *yes it is a greek word*

thank you for giving me the chance.

thank you santa for making up your mind.

i will cherish you till the end of life.

now you’ve given me my gift santa, go make someone else happy

Santa should check his email.

I know what I want. I got it, but then somewhere along the way, I lost it.

Been 2 years, and maybe Santa have new things in mind for me.

But I still want the same thing. Except this time I’m not getting it straight away.

I need to wait, because Santa has to think.

Please think, Santa.

Zippo

stranded, alone at home. as the time passes,more thought came knocking.

its too cold, too quiet and i long for a company, for its too quiet i can hear myself think.

a soul to keep me in the right direction, a soul to keep me warm.

as i dont want to turn into a cold heartless being.

i turned my head to the balcony to the vast darkness surrounding me.

made my way to the room, give myself ablution.

i can see a ray of light among the darkness now,

and its not coming from my zippo lighting the devil’s stick.

A void, an abyss

Many words, and none can describe what i feel,

Inside is the pain, inside I cry in vein, feeling the sadness and smelling the pain,

Damaged, as though the spirit was crushed,

Losing sense of identity, feeling in despair, not knowing how much I can take,

Feeling lost, having no sense of direction, I feel like to move away,

Where there is no one around,in a different world, no one to care or to hate, only silence,

For there is only so much my mind can handle.

many things, so little time

i used to have a list, a list of things that i must do before i hit 30, things to buy, places to go.

i wonder where the list is now.

i stumbled upon a blog. a good blog in my opinion, worth mentioning at least – http://www.mightyjacksparrow.blogspot.com/ the author has his list posted on his blog and it reminds me of my forgotten list.

its good to have a list.

it will remind you of the things that you desire, push you a lil bit more to achieve greater height, and give more meaning to your life. its like a life goal to me, but more on the pleasure side. i stop keeping/following/updating my list after the trip to thailand. its not that i’m satisfied or content with my life right now, but its a struggle to achieve those impossible thing to achieve on the damn list.

maybe i decided to live my life without any list, embrace what coming my way, make do with what i have. but after 15 minutes reminiscing what i’ve done this year with my housemate (15 mins all it takes to summarize my life in 2009, very sad indeed) i realized that unconciously i’ve been doing things by the list. what i did, what i bought, places that i went to; it is according to the list.

so why not, i write the list again?

things to do before 30/marriage.

1. bungee jumping
2. ridicolous long trip for food(done, cyber to penang)
3. sky diving
4. pick up a stranger and send him/her to their destination(done, a boy from cyberia to putra sentral)
5. backpacking across south east asia
6. paintball
7. play a new sport(done, rugby)
8. watch an f1 race
9. white water rafting(done)
10. travelling with friends, phuket(done), jakarta, bali and singapore
11. watching a live united game at old trafford
12. hosted a party (done,the good old nottingham days)
13. shoot with a real gun

i think there are more to this list, i just couldnt remember it

things to buy/i wanted to buy

1. rugby jersey
2. wristwatch(done)
3. lomo camera
4. personalized boots(done)
5. good shade(done)
6. suit
7. hiking bag
8. a 3/4 pants

looking at the list, there are a few things that are hard to achieve. blame it on lack of funding. i need to save money for my future instead of spending it on a trip that will take out a big chunk from my bank accounts. a list remains a list, and i have to prioritize and compromise. maybe i can do some of it after 30. with my future wife instead, with my future kids. who knows. its all in god’s  will.

now i have to study for my midterm tmrw. a lot to cover.

exciting saturday :D

friday was more of a “gorge down on the food” day for me but saturday is a total opposite.

didnt sleep the whole night friday, went rock climbing early morning till afternoon. head back home for showers then off to OGA vs KUSESS rugby match. OGA won the game 19-7, very very exciting indeed. my housemates; we were planning to hang out at rootz tonight, but i decided not to go. i’m totally knackered and badly need some sleep. had 2 hours sleep, woke up at midnight and i’m awake ever since. i cant sleep anymore no matter how much i tried to. lol

ended up watching the chelsea game, the result is very much to my pleasure. chelsea drop 3 more points, and the point difference now stands at 2. reminiscing session with azwin aziz concluded the night

oh and i’m about to be inducted into an all man u fans family.

a productive saturday i think.

i’m hungry

after so long not being able to find the time to write, i’m gonna write about the past two days.

“bangun pagi, gosok gigi, cuci muka……”(the song that we used to sing)

go to class, skip few classes. basically life starts after 5 pm for me this week.

either off to rugby practice or rock climbing.

BUT my post is about me being hungry yeah.

the past two days, i spent my evening rock climbing. but after every session. i happened to get really really hungry.

yesterday went for nasi lemak international (read: antarabangsa) and i ate 3 plate of nasi lemak. first with rendang. 2nd with ayam goreng and 3rd with telur. and today, dominos near midnight, udang masak cili with nasi later at 3 am. and now blackforest, ice-cream and a litre of chrysanthemum tea.

i seriously need to control my food intake, it is starting to burn a hole in my pocket.

Final Paper

tomorrow will conclude the final examination for me. and before i start with my revision, lets review the past 4 papers i tried to answer as best as i can.

• MA1 – a sure pass, aint that hard. slighly hard to get a good grades. maybe because i didnt remember the format of the financial presentation.lol
• TAX2 – a pain in the ass.it is hard. i hate the part when people told me melaka was given a hell of a tips for the final examination. so unfair.
• ADV AIS – the easiest paper of all 4 papers i already took. but aint that easy. totally clueless about the flowchart.
• CA1 – gulp. i have nothing to say
• Fundamental of Accounting – tmrw’s paper. first year subject.

so thats it. after tmrw, i’m a free man. unless indonesians do invade us.

Testing

testing my feed from wordpress to twitter

listen to the silence.

8 am; making my way to CR1002..

leaving behind notes scribbled on papers scattered at home.

nervous, anxious, scared..

wishing myself good luck, patting my own back for the effort done.

Adv AIS, you are a pain in the ass, no curse word in the world can describe my feelings towards you.